The unrelenting compulsion to write: wailing newborn, here I come

Any minute now, I will cross over from rotund-about-to-be-a-mother category into the official lady-with-wailing-newborn category. Any minute. Now? Not yet. Now! No, still, not yet. I don't know how 9 months can go by so quickly and yet conversely, the last few days and weeks are interminably slow.

Speaking of which, a disclaimer: anyone who asks me "so you're still pregnant?" after today is fully deserving of the punch in the throat they receive.

This entire pregnancy is somewhat of a blur. I could never believe that 9 months could pass so quickly. I think we're prepared, mostly prepared anyways. In terms of "stuff" we have the cradle and diapers and clothes and everything but the wailing newborn. In terms of parenting, well I don't know that it's possible to study for that practical exam. I did have to resist, however, taking a Dr. Spock parenting book off of the shelf at the library in our office. Not because I was interested in what it said so much as I wanted the right to complain later "I did everything the way Dr. Spock said to!" Ah yes, the original Dr. Lipschitz.

Right now, I feel really humble in that I have no idea what kind of parent I will be. I feel strongly that the type of parent I am will be less colored by the preparation I did before hand than it will be by my ability to cope on a day-to-day basis for, well... the rest of my life. "Parent" isn't necessarily something you get to retire from, is it?

Obviously enough, I'm writing again. If this is as a result of anything, it's a result of the fact that I feel sort of lost and overwhelmed. People tell me "having a baby is going to change EVERYTHING" and I nodd in agreement, as though it's possible for me to fully process that right now. It's impossible. So I write to feel like I'm processing, but in reality I'm just hoping I'm up to the task.

Ready or not, I'm going to be a parent. Any minute now.